I finally heard back from an agent who had my manuscript. Rejected. The bottle of Moet and Chandon must wait for another day to be popped.
But the truth is, I am kinda relieved. Not because I didn’t want her as an agent I would have loved to have worked with her, but because I have been SO STAGNANT the last two months waiting. All my queries and samples have been rejected or timed out except for this one and now I can call this round a failure.
Yes. This has been a glorious failure.
And that is totally freaking okay.
You see, I love this manuscript. LOVE IT. And I have worked my ass off on it. But something about it just isn’t quite right yet. So I failed at getting an agent this time around.
So now I can move on. I can shred it up and cry if I want. Or I can wave my fist and curse the heavens. But what I think I’ll do instead is plot my next move with this manuscript that I love.
When I say fail like a boss I don’t mean some middle management A-hole who shifts blame onto the people who report to him and makes excuses about lack of resources. I mean the CEO who is ceaselessly looking for ways to improve quality and efficiency, cut costs and raise morale. The boss who is allowed to fail because in her failures she reveals the holes in the ship before it starts to sink.
It’s a funny double standard we have that we constantly roll our eyes and tell dreamers to be practical, not to quit their day job, to let go of their pipe dreams, but then applaud those who succeed by refusing to do just that. And the truth is that the majority of those who do succeed in a big way have ignored that kind of advice for years, after every defeat and every failure.
So I am not wiping my tears with my manuscript. I am looking for where it is losing water and getting my welding torch ready to patch that bitch up stronger than ever.
Failure is inevitable. If you don’t want what you are failing at than by all means, give up. If you do want it, Really want it, than it is worth every single defeat to reach that victory.
And that is worth cracking open a bottle of Verdi at least.