Writing my Biography… uuuggggh!

I have my BA in Journalism. I’ve published freelance articles over the years for local and online publications while working as a graphic artist and occasional content writer. I enjoy macrame, reading and long walks on the beach.


I can write any manner of things but my biography is not one of them. Whenever I read other people’s I suffer from a bad case of writers envy. Holy Crap! That person’s biography is so cool! Why can’t I write a cool biography like them?!

Mine always come out dry or forced. There is no in between.

Why? Well, it’s not that there isn’t anything interesting about me. I actually find myself quite interesting, but all those interesting things are so scattered they have a hard time finding a place in a biography for the same thing. When is it relevant to mention I work with crystals, change my own tires, and really really like red wine? Should I mention these things before or after I talk about the LP I recorded ten years ago and my kids knowing all the words to “The Last Unicorn”?

I also have very few official certifications and awards as an adult. Like none really. People don’t give you a certificate for working three graphic design jobs in five years. And the one they give you for having babies is kinda a given. I have a bunch from when i was young but I’m not so sure it appropriate to mention I won second place in the “City of the Future” coloring contest when I was seven or shared the title of “Most Musical” in my high school yearbook with seven other people.

Alot of what I see is about what people like. That’s cool. They make it work. They make it funny. I have a problem. I like everything (except for stuff I dislike so strongly it’s best I don’t bring it up) and when i try to be funny I fail miserably.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m hilarious. I crack myself up on a daily basis. But it has to be on the spot. I can’t try to be funny or its obvious I’m trying. And there are few things worse than someone trying and failing to be funny. Also, I only want to talk about myself in conversation. Otherwise my mind goes blank on everything and anything anyone would want to know.

So now here’s a call to arms. Tell me how to write a good bio! Tell me how to pull off funny and professional as effectively as I could manage it on the fly. Post your bio. Tell me what you would want to know about me, if you wanted to to know about me.


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