There are glorious moments when you are writing that the world falls away. Stress and worries and everything around you vanishes as your fingers fly over the keyboard and the words pour out, perfect and poignant and exactly like they should be.
These are the moments writers write for. The times it seems we are not even the ones doing the writing.
But getting to this state of mind doesn’t come easy, and when you are a mom with young children that need you constantly, even just to acknowledge that they are whining over nothing at all, it’s more likely your words will come out like this:
“Please please please be quiet. Be quiet for one minute so I can write this one freaking sentence without losing my mind and my cool. Please be quiet. Oh My Freaking Goodness will you just stop teasing your sister and watch Puppy Party quietly for one minute so that I can think!!”
Actually that was probably much too coherent. This is probably more accurate:
“Gah! words! Noise! Stop! Wekaek! fasdlkei! GEEEEEE!”
exclamation points don’t take much effort.
As I already addressed in my previous post, I don’t write because I want to create sweeping epics and make readers afraid to go to bed at night. I write because I just have to do it. If I go too long without it I start to feel jumpy, stressed and disconnected with myself. Especially if there is a story calling me.
So I’ve learned the hard way, the way many many stay at home moms have learned, that working during the waking hours of children is pretty much impossible. Even as I write this my daughter is upstairs fighting her nap and my shoulders are up near my ears with tension.
What do I do?
I write when they nap. I write when they go to bed. I write while my husband watches baseball. I don’t have an office right now, but I wouldn’t use it if I did. Stay at home moms don’t get offices unless they also have nannies. So I have my laptop on a stand next to the sofa and I write when I get the moments.
And when everyone goes to sleep, that’s when I can get into the zone. That’s when my fingers take over and I create the work I’m craving.
I go to bed very very late sometimes. I used to kick myself for it but the funny thing is, no matter how tired I may be getting up with the little ones the next morning, I’m also happier.
Being a mom is wonderful. Staying home with my children and guiding them as they grow is a privilege, but it is also equivalent to two full time jobs sometimes. So I have to slip in the moments to do my third job when I get the chance, and when I am doing the work I am compelled to do, I am more at peace with the poopy diapers and tantrums.